“What genre of movie would represent your life?”

This was an opening question in our church community group last Thursday night.  As I sat in a straight backed kitchen chair, exhausted by a full day at work, in a living room full of people I still barely know, I only half listened  as other members of the group, perched not quite comfortably on couches, shared their ideas.  One older member said he thought of his life as an adventure movie.  Another made a joke that his was a thriller.  Meanwhile, my mind was working overtime.  I had an internal dialogue, fueled by a cartoonish devil and angel on each shoulder.  What movie would describe my life right now?  Angel convinced me that I should say “romantic comedy” because after all, I have married the most wonderful man I could have imagined, and I can tell funny stories about my life to my friends and family.  Then devil chimed in, with a grim reminder that I do not have what I want most right now, that the heroine in a romantic comedy would get pregnant right when they want to.  My movie should be a drama.

I didnt give an answer to the group, but the question stuck with me.  I have been so blessed in so many ways.  I have a job that allows me to serve God and love others, I have a nice home and everything I need.  I have a loving family and friends, and best of all I have a husband who adores me and who is absolutely wonderful.

I tend to struggle with staying fully present in my life as it is.  I want to be grateful for what I have, not striving for what I don’t yet.  As another exercise in wellness this month, I did something radical.  I had Mr. Wonderful change my facebook password, so I will not go on it for the rest of this month.  I think it will be a great exercise in mental wellness for me.  Every time I go on facebook these days I get so green eyed monster.  At least once a week I see pictures of sonograms pop up in my newsfeed.  I see squishy newborn faces with hundreds of comments and likes below them.  Each of these pushes a tender button for me.  I know there will always be new babies in my life, and I want to rejoice and be happy for each friend and co worker who is lucky enough to be blessed with that.  I don’t want to be a bitter woman that other women have to treat with kid gloves, my pain repelling them until I lose their friendship.  This month, as I discover wellness, I will focus on all of the wonderful things about my life, and I will seek Jesus so much more.  I will let him patch up my wounds of sadness, I will allow him to sit with me when I feel so alone, and I will continue to hope for a miracle in his timing.

I think I’m not going to wait to live my romantic comedy over the top blessed life.  I choose to live it now!

One Response to “Living the Rom Com Dream”

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