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Hi!  Sorry its been awhile <Insert excuses and promises not to let that happen again>.

Life has been busy lately with work, friends, family, and of course the quest for Muffin Wonderful in there too.  Today I faced the evidence that once again this is not the magical month that will mark the start of my journey to motherhood.  Dealing with the disappointment is tough, especially because every month, as I drag myself into the house after a long day at work, I somehow convince myself that my fatigue is surely due to pregnancy!  My mind is so powerfully convincing and my 5 (!) months of trying have taught me a lot but I still fall for it every time.

I have tried a lot of different things to help me cope with disappointment and stay optimistic and thankfully today I was able to come up with several reasons why I can be okay with the fact that this month was not the right time for Muffin Wonderful.

1.  I love my life.  I am so thankful that I have Mr. Wonderful as my partner in life.  Just last night I was thinking about our relationship.  I heard a statistic that 90% of married couples are less happy after their first year of marriage that that they continue to find less satisfaction as the years go on.  I couldn’t believe my luck.  I have hit the husband jackpot because I feel like our relationship continues to get better and better each year.  I also started thinking:  What’s my hurry?  Why am I so anxious to change my life that is all around great?  I think sometimes my desire for a baby is fueled by a need to catch up or a fear of missing out.  Facebook is exploding with precious pictures of new moms and status updates proclaiming the joys of motherhood.  I want to be mindful of the why behind my desire for motherhood.  In itself I think it is good, but the “hurry up and happen” part is definitely not necessary.

2.  More Money, Less Problems:  Another month of no baby equals another month of savings.  We’ve been strategic about paying off debt and making good financial decisions so that hopefully I can stay home (almost) full time with our baby (which is no small feat in Southern California).  I’ve been pining away for a new car for YEARS now, and as ‘ol Hoopty’s mileage continues to climb (170K now), I want a new car almost as much as a baby.  Another month of saving is that much better of a car for our family.

3.  First trimesters and pig dissections don’t mix:  I’m stepping into new shoes as a Biology teacher at our school.  For the next few weeks I will fill in for a teacher who left and I get to do the funnest part of the whole thing, the pig and frog dissections.  When I was hoping for pregnancy this month the one thing in the back of my mind was the idea of doing dissections while exhausted and nauseous.  Not a good combo.

4.  I Heart Exercise:  Guess who runs 5 miles at a time?  Guess who got a Nike swimsuit and actually swims laps?  Me!  I got really into exercise again and its doing me a lot of good!  I’m feeling so much better overall, making better food choices, and managing my work stress better as the worries of my day pound out on the treadmill.  Being pregnant would definitely derail my fitness progress.  Another month improving my mile time?  Sure, why not.

Now I continue to thank God for the blessings he has already given me and I will trust in Him and His perfect timing.  I will choose to remind myself that He is not withholding, and in the waiting time I will be open and ready to grow and develop a character that will make me an even better mother.

3 Responses to “It’s a Wonderful Life”

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