Mirror, Mirror

I wear many hats at work each day.  At any given time I can be educator, life coach, secretary, mom, cheerleader, college counselor, and disciplinarian.  Today our tenth grade students took a high stakes test that is required for graduation.  This was the first opportunity for the students to take the test.  They have been in extensive test prep for the past six weeks or so so I knew that they were all prepared and I truly believe that they are all capable of passing.

One of my students has been pretty salty lately.  She has had a bit of an attitude in class and a constant stream of negativity coming out of her mouth.  I tried to keep her cheerful and teased her with things like, “I’m tired of salty, I want you to be sugar!  Sugar, sugar, sugar!”  That wasn’t working and so now I have really had it.  Today at the break of the math section of the test she exclaimed, “I failed.”  Immediately, I took her to my desk and began to speak with her about positivity vs negativity.  I admit, I’ve gone a little Oprah lately in my positive visualization.  I spoke with the student about her attitude and about the potential consequences of putting all of that negative energy into something that she wants so bad.  She finally admitted that she wasn’t trying to be negative, but that she doesn’t really believe in herself.  I told her that she could play a new tape and instead of saying to herself, “I failed” to say “I am so capable”.  She told me she is afraid that if she doesn’t pass the test that she wont graduate.  Of course this is not true, she will have many more chances to take the test before she earns all of her graduation credits.  I had her picture herself and how she would feel when I call her six weeks from now (when we get the scores from the state) to tell her that she did in fact pass.  I thought it was a pretty damn good speech, and I’m not sure how much the student really responded to it but I felt like I did a good job of making her think differently.

So as the words were coming out of my mouth I started to realize that I need to listen to what I am saying.  As I’ve lamented on this blog recently, I am starting to feel increasingly more discouraged at the delay of Muffin Wonderful’s arrival.  Like my student, I’ve prepared and I’m doing my very best, but I fear that it wont be good enough.  I want to practice what I preach and to think positively.  I want to see the big picture and not the right now.  I don’t want to catastrophize and think only of the worst case scenario.  I’m thankful for the opportunity to see my struggle mirrored in my student today.  My strongest desire for her was for her to think positively, believe in herself, and feel confident that she is capable.  I’m so humbled that God gave me that experience.  It helped me to remember that just because pregnancy has not come right when I wanted it, doesn’t mean it wont happen.  I will continue to picture myself finally seeing that pregnancy test plus sign and will choose to stay positive as I face my fears and wait for Muffin Wonderful.

One Response to “Mirror, Mirror”

  1. T-Bone
    February 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

    Glad that you’re trying to be more positive – especially with weekend dinner success behind us!

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